Every learning journey begins with a single step that builds upon itself. The Heart iQ 90 Day Challenge embraces this truth by releasing one powerful practice each week, over the course of 12 weeks. These core practices, when applied well, have the ability to upgrade your emotional hygiene, consciousness, clarity, capacity and relational intimacy within weeks.
Over the past three weeks we’ve explored Somatic Tracking, Integrated Awareness and Present Moment Tracking.
This week we explore the Art of Unwinding – the ability to unwind trauma through a moment by moment body led practice. Moving from disconnection to connection, from closure to openness.
Learning to weave the various levels of Heart iQ tracking with The Art of Unwinding, is one of Heart iQ’s foremost embodied practices, essential to the health, vibrancy and depth of connection to self and others.
As you come into your heart, embracing love, surrendering to what is and allowing space for what is next to emerge, you can come into joy whenever you choose to.
Watch the video to learn more.
Through the Eyes of a Student
By Shalini Tewari
My practice partner on the 90-Day Challenge has just informed me that she is unable to commit to the weekly meetings that we had originally scheduled. She also mentions that she doesn’t have enough time to keep up with the material, and therefore will most likely be unprepared to practice what has been outlined for us per week.
I notice myself close toward her and there’s a sense of resentment coming up in my mind. We are 4 weeks into the 12-week course and finding a new partner will be challenging at this stage.
A part of me feels angry, another part feels let down, and there’s a voice that’s judging this scenario as an occurring pattern in my life.
This week’s practice is called the Art of Unwinding. The need to unwind is based on the concept that our bodies’ have contorted over time from trauma and triggers. Our natural way of being open, alive, relaxed and connected has become disconnected, stressed, numb, or shut down.
As we learn how to track our physical sensations, judgments, thoughts and stories, we begin to unwind our trauma, and move from closure to openness, from tensed to relaxed.
The timing of this hiccup with my practice buddy is opportune. We explore what’s coming up for both of us by tracking what is present in connection to one another within this new dynamic.
‘In this moment, I notice there is some tension in my chest and pain in my lower back. Apart from these sensations though, I feel disconnected from my body. I feel numb, and there’s a sense of closure toward you.
I am running a story that by being unable to keep to our initial agreement and commitment, you don’t respect or honour my time. Another layer is coming up in my mind that that means I’m not worth the time. As I share this, I feel resentment coming up.
I am noticing that these feelings are not unfamiliar to me and may even be an overarching theme in some of my interactions.
When I share this with you, I feel sadness, but also a sense of relief in recognising that this trigger comes from a deeper source and that I can choose how much weight I put on the situation at hand.
There’s another part of me judging this story as being too dramatic and a part that feels compassion for your needs.’
We both let out a sigh at these last words. It feels so freeing to be able to track and share all the parts of me in connection with the one with whom I’m exploring a trigger.
We continue to ‘follow the breadcrumbs’ with a body-led exploration that inevitably gets to the heart of the matter. As I track the physical sensations in my body, the thoughts that are coming up around how I feel in connection to my partner under these circumstances, and all the layers that come with those thoughts, the gap that was created starts to close.
I notice that my feelings of resentment are starting to shift as I share my experience in her full presence.
This brings me more ‘in’ – in connection with her, in connection with expressing my truth, in sharing all the various parts of me within a safe container.
‘Thank you for sharing your truth with me. As you shared your feelings of resentment, I noticed my body tense up. And when you expressed your story of feeling disrespected and dishonoured, I remembered when I have felt the same in other areas of my life.
This made me soften and I realised that when I commit to someone and then rescind on that promise, it creates closure. I see that I really need to consider how I’m showing up in the world and take care of how much I take on in my life, especially when it involves other people.’
We both take a deep breath. It feels great to share our truths without trying to sidestep and be polite. There’s a real raw and nakedness about it that feels exposing yet strengthening.
The Art of Unwinding is being okay with feeling bad. It’s an embracing and surrendering to all that is moving and allowing the space for what needs to emerge from a place of loving kindness for the totality of our experiences.
When we can feel and become clear about our emotional states, whether we are closed, tensed, disconnected, opened or connected in any given moment, we can choose to come into joy. Joy is not simply a state of happiness, but instead it’s the powerful potential of being open and in flow with every aspect of what’s alive in us.
At this point, I needed clarity and honesty. So I asked my partner if she would be able to fully commit and show up prepared to do the practices with me going forward. She takes a moment to consider and then says no.
To truly be able to unwind our trauma and triggers, the Art of Unwinding is exploring what is alive and then feeling into what you need in order to move toward joy – what do you need to ask for or invite in to find the next breadcrumb?
When we learn to trust our body’s wisdom to guide us toward steps that open and connect us more, we can follow our bodies’ YES in every single moment in life.
As we both surrendered to the present moment, we could relax, recalibrate and unravel into deeper connection and intimacy between us.
Instead of parting with resentment, disdain, guilt or shame, our hearts were now open and we ended our time together with grace and gentle kindness for the journey we shared together.
We said our goodbyes and closed with compassion and best wishes for each other.