Insights to Intimacy Book

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Insights To Intimacy

"Why Relationships Fail & How To Make Them Work"

Order the paperback version
Download the digital eBook version

It ends with you... Right now, you can take action to end the passing down of undigested generational pain, shame & intimacy sabotage that is perpetuating unnecessary suffering and emotional illiteracy.

So much of your intimacy and relationship health is determined by the modelling of those that came before you. As children you took mental and emotional pictures as you witnessed your parents, your family and your culture do their best to manage their pain. Through persistent observation, you began to inherit what a 'normal' relationship looks like.

But most of us were not given a good example. Many of us witnessed or directly experienced shaming, blaming, abuse, neglect, manipulation and games.

Unwittingly, and without knowing any better, you took on some of your parents strategies for dealing with pain and began to inherit the same dynamics that are now interfering with your own capacity to experience the freedom, joy and intimacy you deserve.

But, worst of all, if left unattended we will pass our inherited wounding down the line to our children and perpetuate the suffering that we, and those that came before us, have endured.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

In my new book, Insights To Intimacy - 'Why Relationships Fail & How To Make Them Work' I show you how to heal yourself and your family through the sacred union of conscious heart intelligent relationship. I'll show you through clear step by step instructions how you can 'track' your intimacy blocks and communicate with your partner in a new way so that your 'relational operating system' gets a massive upgrade!

This is not a book of theory and untested hypothesis. The wisdom shared comes from over a decade of real-life testing with thousands of couples and groups from cultures all over the world.

Don't wait till things get worse... Learn the skills to become Heart Intelligent today and become a healthy role model for a new generation of emotionally literate individuals.


FREE Companion Course

Included with your book purchase is complimentary access to an online companion course. This course offers additional video demonstrations bringing the practices I'll be showing you to life, so you can follow along and deepen your understanding.

When reading the book, when you see a demo or video training is available, simply scan the QR code with your phone and you'll be instantly taken to a video to deepen what you're reading about!


Christian Pankhurst Founder of Heart IQ™

Christian Pankhurst is a world-leading authority on heart-centered communication and heart-intelligent relationships. He is the creator and founder of Heart IQ™, a revolutionary new language of the Heart designed to help individuals, couples, families and communities reconnect and heal at the deepest levels possible.

In 2009, he was awarded the title of “Britain’s Next Top Coach” after winning a national coaching competition with a majority of votes from ninety-two countries. Following this success, Christian opened the Heart IQ™ Academy in 2011, creating a professional training organization that has certified over 300 personal and small group coaches as well as large event facilitators in over twenty-five countries around the world.

Graduating as a chiropractor in 2002, Christian has worked closely with many world-leading experts in the field of personal transformation. In 2006, after extensive study with mentors from multiple disciplines, he began developing a new approach to coaching individuals and couples that integrates practices from natural healing philosophies, various spiritual teachings, therapeutic psychology, dance and movement modalities, martial arts, embodiment practices, nonviolent communication, circling, and numerous healing arts disciplines.

Christian lives in the Netherlands at the Heart IQ™ Retreat Centre — a stunning four-hectare residential conference facility near Groningen, Netherlands. Together, with the dedicated Heart IQ™ team, they spread the work of Heart IQ™ around the world.

Here's what people are saying about Christian Pankhurst and Insights To Intimacy...

"This young man Christian Pankhurst can articulate these messages as well as, if not better, than I can. He is a profound source of depth and understanding."

Neale Donald Walsch
New York Times Best Selling Author

What People Are Saying About This Incredible Book On...

"This book is soothing balm for the soul"
Review By Zanziba

I have been trained by what some people would say the best in the industry such as Tony Robbins and Christopher Howard amongst others. I can honestly say when it comes down to the 'heart' of the matter; the depths of acceptance of your very essence, and making deep, tangible, lasting change, there is nothing that can compare with Christian's teachings. His work is profound.

I will be forever grateful to all of my teachers but Christians work, energy and 'being' touches me at the deepest level possible. Whatever else I learn and however exciting those things are, I will always come back to the core teachings of Christians work - Heart Intelligence. It is like coming 'home'.

Buy this book - whether you are in a relationship with a significant other or you want to be, or even if you are in one that you know no longer serves you and you need guidance of how to close lovingly. You will not be disappointed. The teachings here will literally change your life.

"If you want that spark that's missing in your life, this book delivers! I have gotten more positive results and understanding from these processes than years of individual and group therapy. The healthy approach outlined here can revive a flat relationship or help ignite a new one. Christian has combined the best of many techniques into an organized, workable system of approach to deepening relationship with yourself and with others. I don't even normally write reviews, but needed to say BUY THIS BOOK. It gave me a way to know myself better and to describe what I long for and reach for it. Check it out!"

Debra Huffman

"So much insight has been brought to me about what happened in my own past relationship. This is an exceptional book in finding your way to discover what can bring true partnership for anyone who truly wants to grow, learn and connect in the most authentic way!"

Bernadette O'Donnell

"The information given in this book clearly guides, informs, and inspires me to connect with myself and others in a heart intelligent way. The techniques and principles have given me what I really need and simply could not get from what I initially learned about relationships in my original family! I would recommend this body of work to anyone who wishes to make relationship an art that satisfies their soul."

Anna Pittman

Order the paperback version
Download the digital eBook version

What's inside the book?

You know you want it. Deep down, you've always wanted it. A blissful, connected, magnetically charged love relationship with a just-right-for-you partner who sees you fully and adores you endlessly. Does it sound like a fairy tale? It's not. Regardless of your current relationship status-whether you're single, in a good relationship, or in one that's crying out for help-you're about to gain access to that dream.

Following the clear, step-by-step instructions for a Heart IQ relationship will empower you to:

  • Naturally heal past neglect and wounding-both yours and others.
  • Stay deeply, meaningfully connected to yourself and others.
  • Enjoy an endless stream of aliveness and vitality through healthy sexual connection.

Some samples from inside the book

Page 41. Learn about the effects of direct and indirect wounding in your relationships

Page 62. Learn about healthy boundaries & how anger is essential to be healthy.

Page 109. Learn about the secret to loving yourself and others unconditionally.

Page 123. Learn about the different ways we defend against intimacy.

 If you're not experiencing the relationship you crave, it's not your fault. Most of us grew up without ideal relationship models to learn from, and you certainly weren't taught these skills in school. This is your opportunity to change course and begin shifting the habits and patterns that have stood between you and real love.

Order the paperback version
Download the digital eBook version