The Heart iQ Blog
Reflections from Christian on relationships, circle work and the practice of living from the heart.
113 articles to explore · Page 1 of 10
Why the Right Emotion Sometimes Heals Nothing
Why expressing an emotion fully can still leave a circle unmoved, and how attending to the person or relationship it belongs to can change the work.
Video · 2:11I Used to Think the Purpose of a Relationship Was to Heal
What changes when a relationship becomes a place to enjoy life together, with wider support for the pain and unfinished needs neither partner can resolve alone.
VideoThe Gift You Are Trying to Get Rid Of
A reflection on sensitivity, shame and the qualities we try to remove from ourselves, and how being met in connection can change our relationship with them.
When Healing Becomes a More Sophisticated Shame
The wish to heal can carry the same shame as the wish to achieve. Christian reflects on recognising that pattern and learning to meet himself differently.
Why the Wrong Relationship Feels So Right
Familiar intensity can feel like love. A reflection on chemistry, pacing and the patterns we bring into relationships, with questions that leave room for choice and discernment.
I Tried to Be a Facilitator and a Friend in the Same Field
Christian reflects on the conflict between holding a circle and seeking friendship within it, and why facilitators need belonging and support beyond the people they serve.
When Saying Yes to Repair Becomes the Problem
Repair matters, but recurring relational patterns can require more than another conversation. A reflection on accountability, boundaries and the difference between a rupture and an ongoing dynamic.
Video · 3:19The Problem With Saying "I Don't Judge"
The aim is not to eliminate judgement, but to notice it without turning it into certainty. A practical reflection on discernment, projection and holding our interpretations lightly.
The Echo Chamber in Your Pocket
When an AI reflects our account back to us, agreement can feel like independent evidence. Christian explores how that happens and the limits he now places on these conversations.
Your Intuition About Someone Is Not the Whole Truth
Intuition can offer information without giving us the whole story. A reflection on certainty, shared narratives and staying curious about another person’s experience.
On Grief That Arrives Late
Christian reflects on grief arriving in waves, receiving support and discovering that the body has its own pace for meeting a loss.
What I Saw From Dubai
A personal account of conversations in Dubai, the limits of seeing a situation from one place and the practice of letting another person’s experience reach us.
The Shadow Side of Openness
Christian reflects on the difference between holding a group and absorbing it, and how boundaries can help a facilitator stay sensitive without losing their own centre.