A question I get asked often is how do I find my purpose. The question itself assumes purpose is somewhere to be found, as if it has been hiding under a rock waiting for you to stumble across it one day.
I don't think that's how it works. In my experience purpose is not a fixed destination you uncover. It's an attitude, a state you step into through action. The people I meet who feel aligned with their direction aren't the ones who waited for total clarity before moving. They moved first, and clarity followed.
Following an early interest
When I was fourteen I loved bringing people together. Nothing more complicated than that. I organised a party at my parents' house, charged a couple of pounds on the door, and ended up with two hundred people in the garden and the police called out because of the noise. My parents talked our way out of it by donating the money to charity. That was the whole business plan. But it taught me something. The first small act of following what I loved led to the next one. My friend and I went on to build a mobile disco, then run one of the biggest local discos in the southwest of England through my teenage years, all because we kept saying yes to the next step rather than waiting until we felt ready or qualified.
Learning by sharing what I knew
I describe beginning with Tae Kwon Do, showing a few school friends what I was learning while I was still a beginner. Later, I studied Wing Chun and began practising with other students. Teaching made me explain things more clearly and exposed what I still needed to learn. Over time, further training and experience gave me more to offer. These are stages in my own history, rather than a suggestion to teach beyond your competence.
Noticing when the motivation changes
What I noticed each time, with the disco and with the martial arts, is that when the thing I loved turned into a business focused mainly on growth and money, my passion for it quietly died. That's not a claim that passion and business can never coexist. It's just been true in my own experience: the moment my attention shifted from the joy of the thing itself to the numbers around it, the joy drained out.
A new direction
Later, after a difficult period in my life following a violent incident that left me shut down and fearful, a friend introduced me to a personal development retreat. Watching the facilitator lead that room, I remember thinking I want even a fraction of what he has. Not because he had an easier life than mine, but because of the clarity, humour and groundedness he carried. That moment became the seed of what eventually grew into the Heart iQ work I now teach.
None of this happened because I sat down and worked out my life's purpose in advance. Each stage, DJ, martial arts instructor, chiropractor, facilitator, was simply what I was leading with at that time. Purpose showed up as a direction I committed to, not a destination I arrived at.
If you're waiting to feel completely ready, completely clear, or completely confident before you take the next step in whatever you're drawn to, it might be worth asking whether that waiting is actually protecting you from anything, or just delaying the small first act that would move things forward. In my experience the first step rarely looks impressive. It looked like a fourteen-year-old's house party and a yellow belt teaching four school friends at lunchtime. The scale came later, built slowly through consistent, imperfect action. Choose a step that fits your present skills and responsibilities, and let the learning continue from there.
Christian's pattern of stepping into purpose
- Notice a genuine pull toward something enjoyable, without needing a grand plan
- Take a small, imperfect first action despite lacking full skill or readiness
- Offer something within your competence and keep learning from the experience.
- Let repeated small actions build reputation, skill and confidence over time
- Stay alert to when focus shifts from joy to growth and money alone
